Accessibility, Responsiveness and Engagement Questionnaire

              From: Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (2008) Dr. Susan Johnson

Read each statement and choose T for true and F for false. To score the questionnaire, give one point for each “true” answer. You can complete this questionnaire to reflect on your relationship on your own. Or you and your partner can each complete it and then discuss your answers together.

From your viewpoint, is your partner accessible to you?

  •  I can get my partner’s attention easily. T / F

  •  My partner is easy to connect with emotionally. T / F

  •  My partner shows me that I come first with him/her. T / F

  •  I am not feeling lonely or shut out in this relationship. T / F

  •  I can share my deepest feelings with my partner. He/she will listen. T / F

From your viewpoint, is your partner responsive to you?

  •  If I need connection and comfort, he/she will be there for me. T / F

  •  My partner responds to signals that I need him/her to come close. T / F

  •  I find I can lean on my partner when I am anxious or unsure. T / F

  •  Even when we fight or disagree, I know that I am important to my partner and we will find a way to come together. T / F

  •  If I need reassurance about how important I am to my partner, I can get it. T / F

Are you positively emotionally engaged with each other?

  •  I feel very comfortable being close to, trusting my partner. T / F

  •  I can confide in my partner about almost anything. T / F

  •  I feel confident, even when we are apart, that we are connected to each other T / F

  •  I know that my partner cares about my joys, hurts, and fears. T / F

  •  I feel safe enough to take emotional risks with my partner. T / F

 If you scored below seven, this is an opportunity to apply the seven transforming conversations of Hold Me Tight® to your relationship to strengthen the bond with your partner. If you scored seven or above, you are well on your way to a secure bond and can still benefit from the book Hold Me Tight or the Hold Me Tight® workshop to enhance that bond.


Read more or register here




  • Facebook Social Icon
  • Twitter Social Icon
  • Instagram Social Icon
  • LinkedIn Social Icon


3414 1/2 Fremont Ave N, Seattle, WA, USA

 "Hold Me Tight®" is a registered trademark to Sue Johnson                                                                    ©2017 BY HOLD ME TIGHT® NW